Barbed Wire Keeps My Heart In Tact

10 Objects I love!
1~Sleep Masks. Help me relax.
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove014.jpg[/IMG]
2~Sharpies. Fun to make signs with.
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove015.jpg[/IMG]
3~Nail Polishes. 84 bottles to be exact. $4 dollars a bottle. So $336 dollars worth of nail polish. (:
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove016.jpg[/IMG]
4~Peppermints. Taste yummy!
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove017.jpg[/IMG]
5~Sea Shells. You can "hear the ocean".
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove018.jpg[/IMG]
6~Old Notes. Good memories (:
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove019.jpg[/IMG]
7~Shoes. Fun to buy!
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove020.jpg[/IMG]
8~Post Cards. Scenery.
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove021.jpg[/IMG]
9~Ties. A man with a tie is a business man.
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove022.jpg[/IMG]
10~Ticket Stubs. Good and bad movies.
[IMG]http://i520.photobucket.com/albums/w321/hectichighness/thingsIlove023.jpg[/IMG]

One of my latest I was just thinking.....
 If you are going to stab me at least have the decency to stab me in the chest. Not the back.

One I stole it is a quote and the author is anonymous.....
 "If you have a lot give some of your possessions. If you have a little give some of your heart."

Once again just thinking about things....

I feel so empty I don't know what to do. You can only forgive so much before you have to choose to forget. I thought I had it all and yet in such a short time it crumbled within the palm of my hand. I wanna get to know you. I want to be able to read you like the back of my hand. Maybe you are the only real one in this World.


Conversations deeper then the ocean depths. Somethings are dangerous within these waters but I want to take the risk. We are in the same boat I just hope it doesn't sink. If it does we will do this together. Sinking pace by pace we will die with grace. As the water melts us with its warm embrace. You grab my hand and tell me to "hold on tight" and "we are not going to lose this ongoing fight".

Slowly the icicle melt revealing a barren gutter. I knew this would happen for the sun always comes out but I don't wanna feel unclothed like the gutters. For the things I once killed are alive and all I have gained is gone.....DRAFT 

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms; randomly put them in people's carts
when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
"Code 3 in housewares" and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay
away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
department

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and as
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while
you pick your nose.

10. While handling knives in the housewares department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
theme from "Mission Impossible".

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using
different size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again"

...and last but not least,

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly ..."Hey! We're out
of toilet paper in here!"

Okay I don't seem to get why people try to pull so much shit. I mean really I do you a favor and give you something and you use it against me wtf is that?!?! Don't call me and ask me to leave someone alone whom I don't even talk to. I mean I know I am bitching right now but here's the deal.  My mom says someone is on the phone for me. So I pick up it's a girl named Mikaila and yes I just put your name out there.  She asks what's wrong and there wasn't anything wrong as I explained because I was just trying to focus while doing homework. She just says something small about it and then she drops a big bomb like it's nothing. She says out of no where "Hey, can you just leave Darien alone?" So, I say " I don't even talk to her, the last time I did was at the volleyball and we didn't even talk I just kind of saw her and that was it". "I never really talk to the girl". Then, she says well you're pissing her off like doing this and that and I'm like how is that?..So she goes on to claim I go through her messages and that and I said I dont go through her shit I have no desire to do so. I only went through a person's stuff whom she likes and at the time we were dating and I am not the one who went through it someone else did it for me and told me about stuff. So, she tells me well that is her businees your going through! Me not trying to be rude or dumb I just hung up. I mean wtf?!?! Why am I getting drama for having a girl whom I am not saying her name(she is a really good friend)  go through messages of my boyfriend at the time to see if he was cheating because I was told it was happening! I mean was I wrong and once again how am I getting on this Darien girl's nerves I'm trying not to be mean and keep my cool but if they don't stop being bitches they are going to see my bitchy side which isn't pretty. URRGHHHHH I HATE DRAMA AND HAVING TO BE A BITCH TO DEFEND MYSELF! LEAVE ME ALONE PEOPLE! 

Why do I get my hopes up? Always to be let down in the end. I miss him and I love him but why is he so shaddy all of the sudden? Promises. promised and never kept between me and you. How do I know what's the truth anymore. Lies melt like an ice cube on a sizzling hot pavement. The boy I once knew if now only a darkened figure in the distant night. Who is he now? What does he want with me? I will nevr understand what I'm worth.

I don't know how or why but I feel amazing. I just know that I need to chillax with some people and just go with the flow. Be nice to evreyone and anyone and in the end the other person comes out feelings a dick if they were rude to you. Who cares anymore life is life people leave and people live. I'm done with the bitchy attitude towards people. I admit when I am wrong and I apologize when I am right.  I don't want other people hurt because of me and no one can break me. This is Hannah Marie and who she will always be. People may start to realize maybe I wasn't such a bad person I have apologized to everyone I ever hurt. Even people I told off because they hurt me. I'm starting fresh I will still be crazzzyyyyy but I won't be rude about shit. Sarcastic yes but obnoxious...no

why are people so pitiful as to prey among the vulnerable?..sometimes we should just take a good look at things before we get ourselves into them. some don't understand the ways of humans but in a way i do. few are actually strong inside and happy. NONE are perfect. some think they are in love and fall into the trap of anothers mind which is an illusion of life. some know what is really going on but don't want to be alone and speak their mind about how they feel. others keep to themselves for the simple reason they feel emotions are a way to receive sympathy you don't deserve. many lie to get what they want and those who do have a lot of issues of their own. when you hurt someone just to taste the bitterness of your own fullfilment, you should take a good look at yourself for the person many once thought you were has changed or was it that person all along and evryone was fooled? i know someone who i get but in a very complex way. i don't want to lose them but i'm afraid it's time for they don't understand themselve....they have no clue what they want. honestly for what they did they are going to lose the one person who actually cares, and even though they are losing me they won't lose the part of me caring about them. i jus think that it's not right like this and although promised i wouldn't get hurt, i was hurt and i can't go back and forth with all of this. i want to believe you cared and loved me but you so proved me wrong. so go ahead and move on. just know i never lied to you and once again you found a way to take me use me and hurt me. LAST CHANCES ONLY COME AROUND ONE TIME...AND YOU BLEW YOURS

eek rite now im like oh so bord yet at the same time im thinkin about goin 2 work but i gotta praktice v-ball and im being oh so lazziiiiii....im listenin 2 kill hannah ha KILL ME! uhm aniways idk this is like a pointless journal but i kant decide wat im gunn do i gotta kall bunches of ppl bak that i told i wuld kall bak like 4 days ago i jus 4got cus i hav been so caught up in v-ball and i was supposed 2 go sumwher but obviousli they said they wuld b on aim in a few but its been 2 hours at least and they havnt got on so i say fuck em im gunna go work out more hope they rnt expekting me 2 kome aniwher cus im not komin dont piss me off and i wuld kome but u piss me off wen u lie 2 me so w/e i jus like am bord and hmm message me ...drop me a note ani1 komment my pix xDD purti plz or my journals .......luv u guys xOxO hannah marie 

evri1 must think im like a bitch...cus idk i tell them sht straight up and then they akt all blah about it but i mean is bein straight up bein a bitch?

thinkin about all that has happened this year i made alot of mistakes and hurt alot of the ppl i luv most but i learned and i kno wher my place is...but no1 else seems 2 b able 2 find theirs...i kno wat i want and i kno wat i need and i kno wats not worth it all and i kno the price and the value of it but this one i reli kant decide...i hav spent half my year thinkin about 2 people but in the end how kome it always komes down 2 me chosing who i want?why is ther always a choice btween 2 ppl and eithr way i hurt one of em so i kan nevr win i hav listened 2 my head it didnt work and listened 2 my heart which screwed me over how kome evrything seems so out of place...things r changing and i jus wanna move on but my heart refuses 2 leave w/o him and my head tells me 2 go..how am i supposed 2 kno?..so i guess ill hav 2 stay and c if the pain will go away or follow me as everyday ..thers not a day that goes by wher his name went thro my head but now it seems othr ppl want the feelings 2 b dead buri em in a grave bside my sweet embrace and let the world resound about how i was a whore ...how did i manage 2 burri myself so deep that no one kuld hear a peep as i scream at the top of my lungss for help thats all i need jus sum1 2 kare 4 me ..but wher is that sum1 i trust i found him but now im not so sure hes around here animore i betray him for match 2 light the old flame i once had than wats ther 2 gain?i miss him i luv him but all the stars above him scream my name as my heart skips a beat and i prance on my feet life will nevr be the same again i made all these changes and rearranges but no1 seems 2 kare that im tryin 2 help not 2 hurt and it doesnt seem like aniones here for the road once busi is abandoned and lost why does that hav 2 b the road im walkin on?

 ugh i kno ur asleep haha its like 2:18 in the mornin im ovr my aunts and i kant sleep jus all this is gettin 2 me i reli fucking luv this guy if he doin this ...y?????wat is the point does h

AnimeKing88666

e realize he gunna hurt me does he evn kare one bit that idk if it will evr b answrd but life fucking sux and i kno i always say im done but i got m head all fuckd up and i jus reli wanna get sht straight and i need sum1 2 help me 
i thought about sayin u kno wat i luv him i always will but i kant hold on 2 wats not ther and i got my p90x in the mail and im workin on myself ....i kant wait til my bodi is so much bettr...aftr that im gettin my teeth whitened and evrything...then im goin tanning and hopefulli sumwher within in that i kant dye my hair ..im jus tellin myself that i hav 2 work on me and not worry about him rite now no mattr wat i kant change him...and i jus reli think rite now i kan luv him but he wuldnt want me 2 b like this i kant let this stop me from growing and this kuld make us strongr or itkuld kill us but u kno wat we took the risk and we pay the price no mattr wat it may b but thers so much i hav 2 tell him i jus wish i kuld say b4 it all goes away ...honestli if i kuld talk 2 him 1 more time jus once it wuld klear alot up and jus help me with things ...but idk how i kuld talk 2 him nd evn if i get a hold of him one on one will it evn mattr like will he evn listen or will he b 2 scared and hurt 2 evn say one last word idk its all so etchy and strange and i hate 2 say it but why ther r sum doords
 u dont wanna open in ur mind but sumtimes u hav 2 face ur fears i dont live lies i jus want the truth from evri1 b4 it gets 2 painfull....to handle and the pain corrupts me but i keep tellin myself i hav 2 b strong but its hard 2 hav to harvest wheat wen workrs r dropping like flies i hav veri few ppl most ppl that wer friends hate the fact that he was my bf i lost so much 4 him and wat did he lose jus kontact..
 i lost more i lost friends and bonds that kuld nevr b the same from this and it sux but u hav 2 go on and im sure ppl wuld say hannah has 2 mani friends blah blah blah she doesnt need more but the truth is thers a diff. btween a friend and accomplice and an excuse
i kant evn bgin 2 explain y i feel like that alot of ppl dont kno evrything about me i trust veri few and i c right through ppl like my therapist i knew he was a fake my aunts employee i knew she was gunna turn and idk y or how i knew but i did i hav good instincts but y wont my instincts giv me and info on him they go numb wen i get around me his touch kiss and words hipnotize me and im lost in a daze but i dont wanna blur the line btween reality and dream but its startin 2 and i keep tellin myself but u kno mayb u wer right ........luv is an illusion and hell it made me happi 4 quite sum time but u hav 2 b strong to take the aftr strike 
its like a hurricane most ppl thing the storm is ovr wen they r in the eye which is wat me and him r in ...but the eye is nutin thers still the whole rest of the strom and the aftr math 
it kuld leav u with nutin if u dont get out quick
:i wuld get out but idk how idk wats goin on and i think he didnt lie about how he felt but things changd in his mind and i think in the bak of his mind im ther he jus has 2 find the rite time and place 2 take advantadge of the fact that we luv each othr 
if we dont we willl end up screwd
y does it hav 2 b this way and im sure u dont kno and m sure no1 does but how did we get here...?y r we so obbsessd ovr items 
y do we treat othrs like sht yet turn around and smile 2 their face 
we r all decieving carnivorous demons and one day the earth is gunna turn 2 hell ppl say we live in the best of times but i day the worst since wen do ppl hav 2 lie 2 get farthr y r ther posers and haters and killers and luvrs 
y do ppl cheat i mean kome on if ur goin out with me....sht if u marry ur gunna get it one way or anothr whethr u like it or not ....idk i seem so sure but this is jus a chip in the surface
srry 4 the novel lol
Hannah Marie ...jus thoughts while i kuldnt sleep...

ok evri1 reli is it jus me or do u hate it wen peopl rnt jus themselvs and tri 2 b things they rnt so peopl like em?!jus b u ppl ame u wont get judgd as much as u r 4 bein a fucking POSER!!!!ΞΗΕ€Τ↑¢ ΗΙ§Ήηξς$Ξ